Monster Akatsuki RP! Ichiban!
by homunculust
Summary: Yes, The one from Quzilla. Please Enjoy. Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

**Monster Akatsuki RP, Ichiban!**

So here is the story.

This is the original Monster Akatsuki rp. This one and Yon-ban are the only ones that were successfully saved to my computer.

I plan on reposting it as a story on Quizilla as well. In the meantime, I have to come up with a way to score it.

You will have to score it yourself here. There is a code at the bottom, so keep track of the numbers you choose. Add them up and you have your score. The results are at the bottom.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

So here's the story. You live in a small town in the middle of nowhere. It's the summer, so there is no school. You look how you look, only 'perfected', and you live in a little neighborhood called Clarkston.

Moving on…..

So you are out washing your car when you notice a non-descript white van up to the house across the street. Whoever was driving it was kinda a bad driver, because they almost knocked down their own mailbox.

You stare as a nice-looking redheaded man got out of the van and went into the house.

'Wait a second,' you thought to yourself, 'that house has been empty for quite a while, and I don't remember anyone moving in…. I wonder what's up…'

--

-1)I'd go introduce myself….

-2) I think I'll just keep an eye on things for now…..

-3) I might go ask my neighbors. See if they know anything about it….

-4) Is this the part where the hot guys come in? I'm totally going over there….

-5) Let me guess…..

--

1) You are about to walk over there when your dad growls, "Get back to work…"(you were supposed to be washing the car)

2)You go back to washing the car

3) You catch Mrs. Kinzy, your nosy next door neighbor, watching them as well

4) Gee…what do you think?

5) No. Never.

Your next door neighbor waves at you from over the fence.

"It's such a nice day out!" Mrs. Kinzy calls to you. You smile politely and get back to work.

"Do you by any chance know who those young men are that seem to have moved in across the street?" she asked.

"Young men?" you ask, "I've only seen one…." you told her.

"Oh, no my dear, There are at least three. A redheaded man, a Blond girl and a very tall one…he always wears the Hawaiian print shirts…."

You shrugged.

"I think I might go give them a welcoming gift…. Bake them some cookies…" she said, going back into her house. You laugh and continue washing the car….

…Later on, your dad went to work and Your mom went to a meeting. Your younger sibling was at a friend's house and you were at home. You were watching an episode of Naruto Shippuuden, when you heard a knock on the door. Without even really thinking about it, you get up and open the door.

Mrs. Kinzy is standing there with a plate of cookies. She smiles as you open the door. "Sweetie, I forgot about a previous engagement I had with the girls. Would you be an angel and give these to the new neighbors…." she said, handing you the plate. Without waiting for a reply, she pats you on the cheek and turns to the running car on the street.

"be sure to get their names…..I'll stop by later to see what you've found out!" she called as the car sped away…

--

-1) Crazy old bat….

-2) I wanna meet the hot guys!

-3) stares at cookies. "What just happened?"

-4) Heavy sigh as you close the door and go back to your show.

-5) I'll bring it over to them in a few….

--

1) Yeah, you got her about right

2) Don't we all….

3) Your crazy nosy neighbor just recruited you to spy on the new neighbors….

4)You totally forget about taking it over to them until….

5)same as 4

Whatever the case, you don't see the van out there, so you decide to wait. It's nearly 4 p.m. before you hear the screeching of tires on pavement. You peek out the curtains and see the same van from before. Four people jump out. The first one was really tall and was wearing a Hawaiian print shirt, the second was the same good-looking redhead from before, another was a white haired guy dressed like a goth and the last one was a man with dark hair pulled back into a pony tail, his well toned body showing through his wife-beater.

--

-1) Daaaannnggg! That black haired one is hawt!

-2) Ok…better bring the cookies over….and warn them about Mrs. Kinzy

-3) Ooohh! They're all so hawt! Better primp up a little….

-4) Hmmmm….they look like…Nah…..

-5) this is still booorrrrinnnng…..

--

1) *sighing and saking head at you*

2) Good thinking…

3) You get out your best lip gloss….(me: Ironwill, go get the cast iron skillet)

4) *giggles innocently* they look like who, dear?

5) Go eat sh….that'll make it interesting….(quiztaker: homunculust, that is not very nice!)

Whatever the case, you get the cookies, and head over to their house. When you get over there, you find that they left the door open….

--

-1) I walk right in…it's only breaking and entering if you open and/or break the door….

-2) I'll politely knock and wait for them to answer…

-3) I'll peek in, but I stop there. I wonder what the place is like….

-4) I'll knock, but if they don't answer, I'm going in. I wanna meet them….

-5) I'll knock, but if they don't answer, I'm going back to my you-tube….

--

1) you walk in…

2) You wait for about thirty minutes…

3) The living room has nothing but couches…enough space for about 10 people, and nothing else.

4) They don't come to the door and you go in…

5) You turn to leave

As you enter/wait/leave, you hear a huge explosion from somewhere near the rear of the house. Without thinking, you walk in and walk down the hall. You are about to enter the room where the explosion happened when the hair on the back of your neck raises. You turn to see the white haired goth guy leaning against the wall. "What have we here?" he said without smiling.

That's when you knew you were in trouble.

Another man emerged from the room behind you. This one you hadn't seen before. He had blond hair pulled up into a unique style and wore a artistically designed sweatshirt. You could tell he was the 'girl' Mrs. Kinzy was talking about before….

"I see we have an intruder…." the blonde boy said…

--

-1) I'm ganna die!

-2) Deidara? Hidan?

-3) they're even hotter in Real life…. And scarier

-4) No response…just run…

-5) "Just came to welcome you to the neighborhood" you say, handing Hidan the plate of cookies. Then you walk past him to leave. It's not like you really wanted to be there…

--

1)Eventually, but not now…

2) That's right…you little clever….

3) you got the scarier right….

4) Hidan grabs you by the arm as you try to leave.

5) same as 4

"Where do you think you're going?" Hidan asked, grabbing your arm.

Realizing who these people were, you silently began to panic. You caught your breath as you told them, "Hi. I'm ________ .Your door was open, so I came on in. I brought you cookies…" You thrust them into Hidan's hands.

He didn't even look down at them. He threw them off to the side and grabbed your arm and Deidara grabbed your other arm. They dragged you down to the basement and threw you into the laundry room.

"We'll keep her here until the neighbors come back…" Deidara said, shutting the door and locking it behind you….

--

-1) Now I'm ganna die!

-2) Well, It looks like it's gonna be a long wait….sits down

-3) I'm not going to take this…. digs around for tools to escape with

-4) Those Bastards! When I get my hands on them….

-5) Why did they have to do this? I mean, even if I told someone who they were, no one would really believe me anyway….

--

1) no. now get a grip!

2) you fall asleep waiting….

3) it takes you at least an hour to find a screwdriver…

4) You'll what? Can I watch?

5) Because they are S-ranked criminals….

Anyhoo, it's about two hours before the door opens again. You look up to see the tall guy standing in the door…your best guess is that it's Kisame…but his skin isn't grey…it's normal….in fact, he looks normal except for his height. He is carrying what you are guessing to be Samehada behind him. "Get up." he orders, "Leader wants to see you…"

You get up and follow him.…Do you say anything?

--

-1)nope…I don't want to give him a reason to do anything….

-2) No…I just wanna see what happens next

-3) Uh, yeah. "WTF do you think you're doing? If I'm not back by the time my family is home, they are going to come searching for me…."

-4) No. And I know you aren't going to kill me…

-5) Yes. *bluffing* "You do realize that by keeping me here, you are forging some very dangerous enemies in this world…"

--

1) He seems concerned about how quiet you are…

2) same as 1

3) He laughs. "It's not like they're going to find you alive…"

4) you explode. Why? Because I can make you do that.

5) Kisame raises a brow and says, "I'm not worried…"

If you picked 4, I bring you back to life….because I love tormenting myself and everyone around me.

He brings you to the living room where 10 people sit around you (gotta include the Good Boy!). You stare at the one you guess to be Leader. He has bright orange hair, peircings….and a kilt….

--

-1) nice legs….

-2) WTF?

-3) LOL! I can totally see it…

-4) *stares* Why is leader wearing a skirt?

-5) ROFLMAO!!

--

1) Leader clears his throat when he catches you checking him out

2) he he he…..

3) so can I….

4) IT'S NOT A SKIRT!!

5) They all look at you like you are nuts….

"So this is the girl…." Pein said, looking you over.

"Can we just kill her?" Hidan asked, annoyed, "I haven't sacrificed to Jashin in over a week now thanks to this fucking world…."

"Down. She didn't know for certain that we were from another world until you guys decided to lock her in the laundry room…" Konan said, irritated. She was dressed in a grey, two piece pant suit, with glasses perched midway down her nose. She looked classy in contrast to Pein.

"She's right…," Sasori commented. You recognized him as the hot redhead driving the van. "But you guys just couldn't follow Leader-sama's orders…"

"Shut up!" Deidara snapped and an argument erupted.

"Shut it all of you!" Pein hissed and the room fell silent. He turned to you. "Give me one good reason why we should let you live…."

--

-1) "If you kill me, people will be looking for you in both your world and this one…."

-2) "I can show you weapons this world has the your world doesn't…."

-3) "I can help you out in this world… you know. Make sure neighbors don't get too snoopy, drive you all places…."

-4) "... What do guys wear under their kilts?"

-5) "I know things about your world that can help you take it over…."

--

1) Deidara pipes up, "Yeah, leader-sama. You did say that this world was supposed to be our safe haven….."

2)Everyone raises their brows and Hidan looks excited…

3)Sasori raises his hand. "We need her….I actually almost mowed over a couple of people on my way back from the store….."

4) Pein gets an anime vein and Konan giggles(FYI, they go commando….don't ask how I know….)

5) Now even Itachi looks interested….

"Fine…I let you live for now, but You will have to stay with us and you are not allowed out of the house without an escort…." Pein snapped, "You'll room with Konan until we return to our world…."

Konan got up to lead you to her room. But you stopped her before she got too far.

"Can I go grab a few things from my house?" you asked.

Pein glared at you. "No…."

"But…" you protested.

"Anything you need we'll purchase for you. We have enough money in this world thanks to that lawsuit Hidan launched against that one rich guy…." Pein said, getting up.

Hidan grinned, "Getting hit by a fucking car is fucking cool."

Deidara and Kisame rolled their eyes. Everyone got up and began to do their own thing.

Just then a man with messy black hair and a hockey mask came trotting in.

"Where's your usual mask, Tobi?" Konan asked.

"The guy down at the costume store said this was a better one…" he said.

Deidara got an evil grin. "Here Tobi. Have some candy…" he said, handing Tobi a lollipop.

Tobi happily took it and sat in the middle of the room, reminding you of a little kid. He unwrapped the sucker and went to put it in his mouth. The mask stopped him. He tried again, hitting the sucker against his mask.

Deidara laughed slightly.

"Deidara-senpai is mean to Tobi!" Tobi cried.

--

-1. I'd laugh too. Tobi deserves it for being so annoying….

-2. Deidara is being an ass, but I won't say anything about it. I don't want to piss them off.

-3. Tobi's wearing a hockey mask… that is funny….

-4. I'd hit Deidara for being mean to Tobi….

-5. "Hey Tobi, Lift up your mask slightly and put it in your mouth…"

--

1. Deidara flashes you a grin

2. Tobi continues to sit on the floor and try to figure out how to eat the sucker without lifting his mask. Deidara wonders what you are thinking.

3. Yeah… I thought so too.

4. You hit Deidara a little harder than you had planned and Tobi jumps up and runs over to see if he is OK.

5. Tobi obeys and begins to enjoy his sucker. Deidara glares at you for ruining his fun.

You guys were interrupted by Konan clearing her throat. "I must speak to the girl, if you don't mind…." she said, pulling you aside.

She took you into the kitchen and got out a day planner. "I'm going to need to know a few things about you….like your clothing size, style, favorite color…."

You sat in silence as she continued the list of things she needed to know. It took her five minutes to get through her list. "….. allergies, favorite foods, daily habits, any conditions you may need medicine for, and anything else you may need to tell me…."

--

-1. I'm not telling her a thing. The moment they have their back turned, I'm outta here…

-2. I take the planner from her and write down each one of the answers next to each one of the questions.

-3. I tell her to slow down, and answer each one as she asks it.

-4. I'm going to be very careful about my answers. Any one of them could use them against me….

-5. I answer all her questions in order that she asked without having to repeat a single one or have a single question repeated to me.

--

1. She says, "fine. We'll do this the hard way… and You'll have to deal with what you get."

2. "Well, that makes things easier for me…." she said

3. She slows down and it takes about ten minutes to complete.

4. You give her simple answers, and with each one, she tries to drag out more and more information out of you.

5. She is impressed by your intelligence.

"And now for a shopping spree…" she says to herself.

"Wait. Don't you think I should go along?" you asked.

"No. You can't leave the house. In fact, we have to keep the curtains closed now that you are here…. Oh, yeah. Got any hobbies? You're going to be spending a lot of time here. You'll need to get something to do." she said.

You frowned. "But wouldn't it be easier to just let me come with you?"

"I said no. I am doing my best to keep you alive. There are certain other members who would have just killed you and dumped you somewhere in our homeworld…" she snapped, "Now stay put."

You glared a bit before Kisame came in with a tuna fish sandwich. You stared at the sandwich and suddenly realized something…. You were hungry.

"What?" Kisame asked, taking a big bite of the sandwich.

--

-1. "I'm worried that Konan will pick out things that I hate….."

-2. "I'm hungry….I haven't eaten in a while."

-3. O.O "You eat fish?"

-4. Just stare at him and keep silent. If you spoke, it might give him reason to hurt you….

-5. "Nothing…." you say as you look away.

--

1. "Relax…." Kisame tells you, "Konan has good taste…"

2. He says, "Oh…."

3. He glares at you. "Yes I eat fish. I'm shark, not fish…."

4. He just stares back.

5. He shrugs it off.

Anyway, he goes over to the fridge and opens it up and gets out some dip and then gets into the cupboard. He pulls out a bag of chips.

"You Hungry?" he asked.

Cautiously, you nod.

He plopped the open dip down in front of you, and then opened the chips. He reached in and grabbed one.\

"Help yourself…" he told you, setting the chips in front of you. "so why'd you really come over here?"

You took a chip. "Partially because I wanted to meet the new neighbors, partially because I was sent over here to give you the cookies Mrs. Kinzy baked for you."

"You mean the ones Hidan threw on the floor? Pein was convinced they were poisoned…." Kisame told you.

You laughed as you bit into the chip. "No…" you replied, "But I did kinda want to warn you guys about her. She's nosy, kind of a gossip and she likes to spy on the neighbors…."

Kisame nodded as he ate another chip. He walked over to the fridge and opened it. You noticed that it was entirely full of pop of all different kinds. "Want one?" Kisame asked, pointing to the fridge.

After you told him the kind you wanted, he tossed you one. "We were really confused about everything that was happening in this world, until we got a TV. We saw an episode of 'Naruto' and panicked. Hidan and Deidara thought you were over here because you had figured us out…."

--

-1. "No one in this world would believe that cartoon characters could actually be alive…"

-2. "I'll be honest with you…. You guys looked so much like them…..but I thought I was imagining things."

-3. "No. I'm not that smart."

-4. "I can keep quiet. Please let me go home…."

-5. You say nothing…..

--

1. "That's what I said…." Kisame said, reaching for his favorite pop.

2. Kisame laughs and opens a can of pop. "No, you weren't" he chuckles.

3. Kisame rolls his eyes as he takes a huge drink of his soda

4. "Sorry…. Now that Hidan and Deidara blew it, you have to stay here. Thank them, not me…."

5. He continues talking about the TV room in the basement and Itachi's addiction to video games….

Before another word could be spoken, Hidan entered the kitchen. Without a word, he looked you over and walked over to the fridge.

"Give it up Kisame. No girl in our world would like you, none in this world would like you…." he said, grabbing a soda.

Kisame tensed slightly and you glared at Hidan. Hidan noticed you glaring and snapped, "I wasn't talking to you, bitch"

--

-1. "Come back when your opinion is worth caring about…."

-2. "I like Kisame better than you right now…."

-3. "I don't give a damn whether or not you were talking to me. Apologize, now, or you will regret it…."

-4. I say nothing. I am not going to provoke him/he's not worth it.….

-5. You turn to Kisame. "Maybe we should have reminded Konan to pick up tampons….I think Hidan is PMSing….."

--

1. Kisame stops mid-sip and Hidan glares. "Worthless whore…" he snaps.

2. Kisame blushes slightly and Hidan shakes his head and smirks as he walks away….

3. "I look forward to regretting it…" he says as he walks away.

4. Hidan seems disappointed that he didn't get a rise out of you.

5. Kisame snorts soda and laughs. "I think they'd find a better use shutting you up…" Hidan snaps as he leaves the room.

Itachi and Pein come up from the basement. "We got the bunk built up in Konan's room. Sorry, but you're going to have to take top bunk…." Pein said, going to the cupboard and digging out a bowl and some cereal. Itachi walked right over to the fridge and took out a carton of milk from the shelf in the door. He chugged it as Pein glared at him.

"Dude…not cool." Pein snapped.

Itachi put the jug down and stared at Pein for a moment before passing the jug to him. "Sorry." he said.

Kisame sighed as a man you didn't recognize walked in. He was tall, and dressed kinda outdoorsy. He looked very familiar to you. You stared at him a moment as he stared back. He took a spray bottle from under the counter and left.

"Zetsu…." Kisame told you, seeing the confused look on your face…

--

-1. "But Zetsu is supposed to be part plant…."

-2. 'he was kinda hot…' you think. You only nod in response.

-3. "Hmmm…." you say as you take another chip, "He looks different…"

-4. "He seems shy…" you say, sipping your soda….

-5. "Oooohhh…. I see…." you say nodding slightly….

--

1. "Yeah, well I'm supposed to be grey….." Kisame said.

2. Kisame says, "Yeah. He's been trying to take care of some plants in the backyard….."

3. Kisame grins. "Yeah, isn't it great. Even us 'freaks' look normal"

4. "He's not used to human contact…. Kisame replies, "We've been feeding him raw steak and pork chops to keep him from eating people…."

5. Kisame only nods and scarfs down another chip….

So you and Kisame sit in the kitchen until about seven, talking. Konan comes in at that point. "I brought you clothes…." she said, dumping some bags at your feet.

You opened them up and began to fish through them. They were perfect, just your style….

"You're right, Kisame, she has good taste…." you said. That's when you noticed that something was missing.

"Ummmm……did you remember…..underwear?" you asked.

Konan blinked at you a moment before slapping her forehead. "Shoot! That's what I forgot…."

"I can get some for her. I was about to run and get some more paint…." Deidara said coming into the kitchen.

"And while your at it, pick up some more milk too….." Pein said, glaring at Itachi.

"I'll go…." Itachi said, looking a little frustrated.

"I'll go too. I haven't been out of the fucking house all week…" Hidan said.

You were about to protest, but Pein stepped in.

"Yeah, and bring home a pizza….or three...I'm starving."

You watched in horror as they left.

--

-1. "This is going to suck….guys picking out my undies….I don't like this one bit…."

-2. "But…But… they don't even know my size…."

-3. "THOSE PERVERTS!"

-4. "Well… this should be interesting….." (thinks I have no control over it now….)

-5. eye twitch

--

1. Konan apologizes all over herself for forgetting them….

2. Konan whips out a cell phone. "I'll call ahead…."

3. "DON'T Yell….that's loud…" Konan replied, covering her ears.

4. "Don't worry…" Konan tells you, "The guys aren't really like that…."

5. Konan raises a brow at you and asks if you are OK.

"Anyway, you'll just have to live with the ones you got until they get back. We should start getting ready for bed… at least in your PJ's…." she said, guiding you down to the room. She took a few of your bags with her, leaving you to carry the other ones. When you got down there, you began to try on the clothes.

"They look good…." you said, "This must have cost a fortune!"

"Money really isn't an issue for us here. This world has a great legal system. All we do when we need money is shove Hidan in front of a car. Kakuzu pretends to be a doctor who saves him. Then we sue the driver…." she replied.

You laughed as you grabbed your pjs. You ran into the bathroom and changed into them.

Konan checked her watch. "Gawd. I hope those guys get back with the Pizza soon…"

The two of you sat an talked for another thirty minutes before Sasori came downstairs. "Pizza's here…" he called. The two of you followed him up. The guys all sat around the table. Sasori pulled over stools for you and Konan…

Sorry guys, gotta stop here. Next one will be much more exciting. I promise….but the next one will only be made If I receive 3 messages about this quiz in the next 48 hours…. And I have one more question for you…

Who do you think you are going to get along with the best?

--

1. Konan……She's clever and has good taste….

2. Kisame…...He's really nice and fun to hang out with

3. I really don't know.

4. Hidan……he plays rough and so do I.

5. Deidara…… Art is a bang!

_____________________________________________________________________-

results!

**17-31 pts:** You are very stylish and concerned with aesthetics. Your element is earth. Potential.... Friends: Konan and Deidara think you have good taste. enemies: Kisame and Pein think you are a bit shallow. You're not quite sure, but you think you caught sasori staring at you when he thought you weren't looking, and you swear you saw itachi checking you out... I'll tell you more in the next RP.

**32-45 pts: **You are intellegent and calculating. Few details go unnoticed to you. Your element is air. Potential... Friends: Tobi likes that you helped him, and Itachi is impressed by your intellegence. Enemies: you are perhaps a little quick witted for Hidan, and Sasori is a little concerned about your presence... You aren't certain, but you're pretty sure you saw Pein actually smile when he saw you, and Itachi seems very interested in getting to know you.... I'll tell you more in the next RP.

**46-59 pts: **You are very kind and a bit of a humanitarian... Your element is water. Potential... Friends: Zetsu is surprised tha you are unafraid of him and Sasori is surprised by your willingness to help. Enemies: Itachi thinks you lack hatred and kakuzu thinks you won't last anywhere near the akatsuki. You see a funny look cross Kisame's face whenever he looks at you and Tobi surprised you when he asked for a hug... I'll tell you more in my next rp.

**60-73 pts:**You are quick witted and funny... Your element is fire. Potential.... Friends: Kisame gets a good laugh out of you and Pein enjoys your presence Enimies: Zetsu is afraid that soon, he will be the butt of your jokes and Konan thinks you need to take things more seriously. You notice Deidara hovering whenever you are around and Hidan likes the way you always have something to say... I'll tell you more about you in the next RP....

**74-85 pts: **You are Timid yet strong and enduring. Your element is wood. Poential.... Friends: Kakuzu sees you're hidden strength and Hidan likes the fact that you put up with him. Enemies:Deidara thinks that you let people walk all over you too much and Tobi ran into your stron side a little too fast for his taste. You notice Kakuzu eyeing you every once in a while and Zetsu seems to hover whenever you are near.... I'll tell you more in my next rp.


	2. Chapter 2

Recap.... In the last quiz you left off with the guys just coming home with Pizza... Just so I know you took my last one, what was your element?

**-1. Earth....**

**-2. Air **

**-3. Water **

**-4. Fire**

**-5. Wood **

1. Very good my dear....

2. Thank you

3. peeeerrrrfffect...

4. Arigatoo

5. Great....

So the 11 of you were all crammed into the small kitchen, sitting in various places. Itachi sat perched up on the counter behind you and Konan sat next to you.

"I was in the mall when we saw that neighbor you were talking about." Itachi piped up, "She followed us everywhere, so we had to split up…"

Konan raised a brow, "You don't think she suspects that she's with us?"

"I doubt it. Deidara and Hidan slipped away while I was in the arcade." he replied, taking a bite of his pizza.

"Arcade? But that's only at the mall. Where did you get the underwear?" Konan asked, furrowing her brow.

"This place called 'Victoria's Secret'…" Deidara replied shrugging.

**-1. "Oh Gawd no... this is going to be bad..." **

**-2. "They have good quality things there."**

**-3. Deidara and Hidan in Victoria's Secret! If they weren't all staring at me, I'd -laugh my ass off.**

**-4. "regular Wal-mart underwear would have been just fine...." **

**-5. My face turns six shades of red and I sink down into my chair.... **

1. Deidara glances at you. "Oh gawd no is right...."

2. "So we were told..." Itachi muttered, exchanging a glance with Hidan.

3. Pein asks, "What's so funny?"

4. "Well, we didn't go to wal-mart..." Itachi replies dryly.

5. Everyone stares at you. Hidan smirks. "This is going to be fun…"

Konan cleared her throat. "come on guys, finish your pizza and leave her alone." It took a few minutes for the red in your cheeks to subside.

"Did you remember the milk?" Pein asked Itachi.

"Yeah. We stopped at a grocery store on the way here and picked up some pop on the way." he replied, chewing his pizza and staring blankly at the wall.

"No Fucking kidding. It took you long enough to pick it out…" Hidan snapped.

Itachi shrugged. "You know I'm not used to the grocery stores around here. Besides… It took you and Deidara over 45 minutes to pick out the stuff at the mall…"

You choked, knowing that they were talking about your undies.

Pein glared at the two of them as Kisame took the last slice of pizza. "Shut it. Both of you."

Itachi shrugged and Hidan swore under his breath.

Konan cleared her throat. "Shall we go hit the sack?"

Since you desperately wanted out of the situation, you agreed. Konan lead you down to her room. She opened the door, revealing an exquisitely decorated room. It was painted a deep red color, and paper lanterns hung about the room. A changing screen of dark wood and rice paper marked off part of the room. It had an elegant Japanese flair to it.

**-1. "Wow...You really do have good taste..."**

**-2. I'm too nervous about what's in the Victoria's Secret bag to really care about the room... **

**-3. "Awesome room..." **

**-4. "I hope they didn't pick out anything bad..." **

**-5. "I'm tired... It's been a long day...." **

1. Konan smiles. "Thank you..."

2. Konan sees your worried look and gives you a comforting smile.

3. "Thanks...." she says, setting your stuff by the changing screen.

4. "If they did, I'll beat them..." she laughs.

5. "Aw, sweetie, I know your tired, but we still have to go through the bag…" she tells you.

You were almost too afraid to look. You opened the bag, and much to your surprise the underwear in the bag were normal… like the ones you wore every day. You sighed with relief, taking out each pair as they came…. Then you saw it… wrapped in a separate piece of paper… a black lace negligee and red lace underwear set.

You held them up, blushing deeply.

**-1."I don't think this was intended for me..." **

**-2. "My bets are on Hidan... I really can't see Deidara getting this for me..." **

**-3. "This'll look lovely on Deidara..." **

**-4." Didn't you say you'd beat them up?" **

**-5. Is too embarrassed to say anything. **

1. "It better not have been..." Konan hisses, "They had direct orders not to pull this shit...and I thought Itachi would keep a better eye than that..."

2. "That's my guess... Hidan isn't supposed to touch women, but that doesn't stop him from wanting to... " Konan says, rolling her eyes slightly.

3. Konan laughs. "I was thinking Hidan. We should make him try it on…"

4. Konan rubs her forehead slightly. "I believe I did…"

5. "Don't worry, hun," she said, "we'll get them good."

She sighed, placing your things in a drawer that had been set aside for you. You crawled up onto the top bunk. You were hesitant to talk, after all, Konan was an S-ranked criminal. Your curiosity was too much though. You wanted to know more about these people…

"Are you and Pein a couple?" you blurted out.

Konan blinked and for a split second, and you thought you were in trouble. "What would make you think that?"

"Well, you two are partners… and …" you stammered, almost regretting asking.

Konan laughed. "No… we're more like brother and sister. I know there are a lot of people who assume that just because you are close, you are romantically involved. In our world, that's not the case though. We are close because we rely on each other for protection."

She sighed and walked over to her bed, pulling back the covers so she could get in. "People here have dedicate all sorts of fanart to…commemorate… our relationships…It's so sad how people assume that if two guys are close, they are gay…"

She flipped the covers over herself and turned out the light. "Anyway, good night, get some sleep, and welcome to the family…"

**-1. Pein is single! **

**-2. "Wait... Fanart?" **

**-3. "I think I may understand better than you think..." **

**-4. I'm still thinking about the underwear... **

**-5. "I'm glad I was accepted into the family..." **

1. Konan says nothing and has no clue what you are thinking about.

2. "Yeah..." Konan replied, "We had to hold Deidara back from killing someone after he saw a SasoriXDeidara pairing..."

3. "I get sick of people in this world assuming you're gay if you're close to your best friend." Konan sighed.

4. She is understanding, but doesn't say anything.

5. She seems to be asleep….

You slowly drift off to sleep. Dreams of your family and friends haunt you, and you wake up in the middle of the night, around 2 a.m. You desperately want to see them again, but know that if you tried, there was a chance you could all be killed. You roll over and attempt to sleep, but thoughts of them keep filling your mind…

You finally decided to get up and out of bed after about 30 minutes. You crawl down the ladder from you bunk and head for the door, just as Konan mutters, "Stop!"

You froze in your tracks and looked over at her.

"Be sure to pick up milk on the way back…" she said, clearly still sleeping. You breathed a sigh of relief and made your way upstairs. All was silent.

You plopped down at the dinner table and stared at the door across the room as thoughts of escape crossed your mind.

"This is my chance…" you thought to yourself, "This may be the only chance I have for escape…"

**-1. You think of escape, but then remind yourself that these are S-ranked criminals, who may kill you and your family if you try **

**-2. You think, "What am I saying? There is no way I am leaving! They have all been so nice to me...and I'm part of the 'family' now.... "**

**-3. What do you mean? I'm already headed for the door! I'm getting outta here…**

**-4. No way am I going to leave! I'm living every Akatsuki fangirl's dream here... **

**-5. The way I see it, I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. **

1. You continue sitting at the table contemplating escape.

2. same as 1

3. You are blocked on your way to the door by someone veiled by the shadows.

4. You sit silently, only to look up when you hear footsteps coming.

5. You mull it over for a bit

You jumped as a figure stepped out of the shadows. It was Deidara, wearing only his pajama pants. The mouth on his chest was made into a scar.

"What are you doing up?" he asked, rubbing his eyes. His hair was down around his shoulders and was a little bit of a mess.

**-1. Hawt! *nosebleed* **

**-2. Blush and look away **

**-3. It doesn't really bother me.... **

**-4. ....Look at his six-pack! Yum!**

**-5. That's clever... He has the mouth on his chest disguised as a scar... **

1. He has you tilt your head back and pinch the tip of your nose while he goes and gets you a paper towel....

2. He ignores it

3. He sits at the table across from you.

4. He notices you checking him out and gives a small smirk.

5. He notices you looking at his 'scar' and he blushes.

"What are you doing up so late? he asked, rubbing his eyes.

You stared at him, blushing slightly before answering, "I couldn't sleep…"

Deidara nodded and crossed the room to the stove. "I'm making tea, do you want some?"

You nodded. "Did I startle you there?" he asked with a slight smirk.

You nodded again.

"You weren't thinking of leaving us, were you?" he asked as his smirk grew wider.

You knew he knew the truth, but still, you shook your head. "I haven't been up long enough…"

Deidara nodded. "Good…" he said, setting the tea kettle on the stove to let the water boil. He walked over and sat at the table with you. "I really haven't been in the mood to hurt anyone anyway."

You stiffened, uncertain as to whether he was joking or not.

He smiled. "Relax. I've got big enough problems on my mind. While we were in the mall today, Itachi was being followed by a bunch of girls, so he decided to split off from the group."

The kettle began whistling, so Deidara got up and took it off the burner. He got out two cups and began to prepare tea for the two of you.

"I don't understand what girls see in Itachi…" Deidara commented handing you a cup and taking his seat across from you, "He's anti-social, he killed his whole family, he's grumpy all the time and he wont even give a girl a passing glance. Why do they like him?"

**-1. "I don't understand either..." you reply, playing with your tea bag. **

**-2. "Well, He's not exactly bad looking..."**

**-3. "What I don't understand is why more girls don't like Kisame...He's a really nice guy." **

**-4. "Honestly... I think you are just as good, if not better, than Itachi any day..." **

**-5. "It's the 'They can't have me' attitude. It gets us every time...."**

1. "Finally... an individual.." he says, raising his cup and banging it against yours, "Cheers..."

2. "I suppose not... but he lacks creativity..." Deidara replies with a slight huff.

3. "Me either. He deserves someone good," Deidara comments, sipping his tea, "He'd appreciate you saying that about him…"

4. "Thanks…" Deidara says, blushing slightly.

5. "I see…" he said thoughtfully as he took a sip from his cup.

You smiled slightly, realizing that he was just wanting to talk.

"I don't think I'll ever understand why girls like Itachi…" Deidara sighed, sipping at his tea.

"You shouldn't complain too loudly…" you commented, "You have a pretty big group of fan girls yourself…"

Deidara smiled. "Really?" he asked, his eyes sparkling.

"Yeah," you replied, "You should check the internet. There are lots of girls who think you're the hottest member."

Deidara looked happy for a moment, but then his face grew sour. "What about that pic I saw of me and Sasori-"

You cut him off. "There are some people who like that sort of thing…"

Deidara was about to say something when a certain white haired member of the Akatsuki stumbled out into the kitchen in only his boxers.

Hidan gave you guys both a look and wandered over to the fridge.

"Give it up Deidara. The only one you have a chance with is Sasori…" he smirked.

**-1. Thinks *Oh, great.... he's here* **

**-2. thinks *What is it with the guys going to the fridge?* **

**-3. "Go get hit by a car...." **

**-4. More half-naked men…I'd ogle him. **

**-5. watch him.... just to make sure he doesn't pull anything....**

1. He ignores you and sits beside Deidara.

2. Hidan sees the weird look you are giving him and asks, "Like what you see?"

3. "I'd rather get hit by a car than sit here and talk to you..." he snaps.

4. He sees you looking and gives you a grin and 'the nod'.

5. same as 2

"Don't encourage him..." Deidara warned you.

Hidan sat in the chair to the left of you. You eyed him wearily. He returned your glance with a smirk.

"You checking me out?" Hidan asked, sliding closer to you.

You slid away, slightly put off by his behavior.

"Leave her alone…" Deidara snapped, slamming his cup down on the table, "If she's not interested, leave her be!"

Hidan taunted him with a grin as he reached over and put an arm around you.

"If you ever want to give it a go… just say the word…" he said, just inches from your ear. He gave you a wink as he withdrew and looked at a glowering Deidara.

**-1. "Um....no." you say, getting up from the table. **

**-2. "You freakin PERVERT!" you yell, rising from the table, offended. **

**-3. "You really are a sick freak..." you tell him, cringing slightly.**

**-4. "What do you mean, give it a go?" you ask. You know full well what he means, but just want him to embarrass himself telling you what he wants**

**-5. just glare at him. He's not even worth a reply.**

1. "Suit yourself...." he says, giving you a shrug.

2. "Shhhh!!!" Deidara hisses, "You'll wake everyone up!".

3. "Maybe some other time then...." he says, watching you.

4. "I think you know what I mean..." Hidan says, edging closer to you. You edge away.

5. "Think about it…" he said, giving you another wink.

Hidan got up, taking the soda to his room. You shuddered.

"You… don't like him like that do you?" Deidara asked.

You shook your head. "Not right now… he's a jerk. And that's one thing that is really bound to scare a girl off…"

Deidara smiled as he finished his tea. He rose and took both his and your cups to the sink. "I suppose we should both hit the sack…It already 4 a.m. and I don't know what Konan has planned for tomorrow."

You nodded, secretly glad for your little talk. You both got up and started heading for your rooms.

"Have a nice night…" He said to you as you headed down the stairs.

You smiled to yourself a little. You were starting to feel more and more at home.

Quietly as you could, you crept into Konan's room.

"Hidan, you bastard…" Konan muttered, rolling over in her sleep.

You climbed the ladder to your bunk and slid the covers up over your head.

In no time, you were fast asleep…

… You woke the next morning to the sound of Konan's voice.

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead…" she said in an unusually cheerful voice you were certain was meant to irritate.

You got up, your hair falling in your face. Konan chuckled. "We have a bit of work to do today… we're going to start on altering your physical appearance today…"

"W-what?" you asked, startled. You weren't sure if you liked the sound of that.

"We have to. We can't very well have you wandering around looking like a missing girl, can we?" Konan replied, "Now how do you want to look?"

**-1. "Yes! I want to be taller and slimmer!" **

**-2. thinks 'No! Now I won't have a chance of going home...' **

**-3. "Well, I like the way I look, but I would love to have your hair color...." **

**-4. *Pulls out pic* "I'd like to look like this..." **

**-5. "I wouldn't mind looking like [favorite actress/anime character here]..."**

1. "We can work with that a bit... and how do you feel about lengthening and darkening your hair? Nothing drastic..." she says.

2. "Look, honey..." Konan says, "I know you want to go home, but if you did, we'd have to deal with you and your family and everyone else who wonders where you went. Its amazing that Pein even chose to keep you alive."

3. "It's doable…But we're going to have to do something a little more drastic than that…" she tells you.

4. Konan looks at it. "It'll take some time, but we can do it…"

5. "What the heck is wrong with the way you look normally? Actors and actresses aren't as pretty in real life, you know…" she huffs at you.

She performed a few handsigns and her hands began to glow bright blue. She placed them along the areas that you wanted changed. You moved various parts of your clothing around so she could concentrate on the areas you wanted changed while preserving your modesty and dignity.

She leaned back and looked at you. "That's all I can really do for now…" she said, panting slightly. You leaned over and began to admire her work in the mirror. Your body was now perfectly toned and formed in all the right spots.

"This is perfect…" you muttered.

"Thank you…" Konan replied, looking a little pale, "It's all I can do for now… let's just go upstairs and get some breakfast….

So sorry Chickadees. I must stop here for now. If you want me to continue, You must send me 4 messages in the next 3 days, or the next one will not be made.

And now, One last question… How are you feeling right now?

**-1. depressed... This one ended much too soon... **

**-2. disappointed. You did so much better on the last one. **

**-3. Indifferent. The quiz was fun, but I only took it to pass the time... **

**-4. Happy. I'm gad you finally got this out... It was so worth the wait. **

**-5. excited. I can't wait for the next one! **

**Results**12-20 :You are a clever person with a lot of spunk. You can have a person tripping over their own words in the bat of an eye. Deidara finds this trait amusing. Hidan finds it annoying. Kakuzu loves the way you make Hidan trip all over himself and you are certain you caught him eyeing you.... But he isn't the only one... Your strongest sense is taste... Your direction is the South.

21-30:You are good hearted and have the type of personality few can hate. Your smile is the type that lights up a room. Konan seems to have taken you under her wing. Itachi believes you lack hatred. Kisame has a strong desire to protect you from the others. You overheard him saying that he could possibly falling for you... But he isn't the only one... Your sense of touch is the strongest. Your direction is stagnant/ the middle...

31-40:You are observant and have an extremely intelligent mind. You are the quiet one that sits in the corner, watching everyone. Itachi wonders what you are thinking. Tobi is worried that you have him figured out. Pein is utterly fascinated by your mysteriousness... But there is someone else who is as well... You have a keen sense of sight. Your direction is the North.

41-50:You are a strong person with an incredible sense of humor. You can find the best parts of the worst situations and bring ease to them. Kisame Appreciates this. Konan finds that your jokes are sometimes poorly timed. Hidan is charmed by the inability to get you down, and there is one other who feels the same way... You are keen of ear.... Your Direction is the West.

51-60 :You are a brave person with a charming personality. Everyone wants to be around you. Pein finds this trait to be very helpful. Kakuzu worries that you are too charming. Sasori can't help but to hover in the room whenever you are around. He finds you irresistable... And he isn't the only one.... Your strongest sense is your sense of smell. Your Direction is the East.


End file.
